have​/​had

by Van Gogh Sky

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1.
03:55
2.
05:50
3.
02:38
4.
04:18
5.
03:56

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released 21 May 2012

Vocals/Guitar: Mateo Garcia
Guitar/Vocals: Eric Gonzalez
Bass: Miguel Hernandez
Drums: Pedro Sanchez

Produced, mixed, mastered, and auxiliary percussioned by Lon Beshiri at Casa Bazooka Recordings.

In memory of Gonzo.

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Track Name: Wisdom Teeth
Made my way back home, to a town that I hate.

I'm waiting again and I've thrown myself in,
sitting alone with a smile on my face;
I forgot the bad news I got that day.

All this picking favorites is making me sick
I'd much rather wait and see
how you break all your promises and we'll be even.

I'll stay on your past as long as I have to
but no longer than I'll expect you to spend on mine.
We'll stay in touch through compatible points of view
but I'll stay outside for all the things I did not do.

You're coming in with all the pain of wisdom teeth
but none of the knowledge
that I've waited for all this time means nothing
Time means nothing.

No one knows.

To live for all these things better left unsaid,
I've scared myself enough to never leave my bed.
Conversations between me and the dead,
for so long I thought myself to be a part of them.
And no one, no one knows.
Track Name: Newbury
Withheld expressions
to tie the knot in my throat.
I see still frames from my memories back when my limbs detached, disappointed that I wasn't being forward enough about the negligence of my own absent mind.

It's the things to keep beside you in your grave
to serve as plastic cups with fish lines at the ends.
Let courage and valor tear us how it may.
'Cause shame and love go hand in hand with the death of integrity.
Stuck in limbo with tied hands and feet.
Rejoice in our misery and poverty,
because we're still better off than they are.

We had it good.
Track Name: Head North
Stay back, I've put this off long enough
and I guess I'll talk about my feelings
and I'll lie again.
Nothing short of condescending jargon
I'd rather forget.

Truth is, I'd rather move to Canada
Just You and Me.
Linger on top of waterfalls then swim to sea.
Lay in bed for hours and get swallowed up
by the sounds they make.

I'm scared that you will think that I'm a failure.
That I won't meet your daddy's expectations.
We'll conform to all the things we said we would not do.

I'll sell my soul off to the devil, and wish that I'd have a worse endeavor.

Cause I'm happy and I know it, clap my hands, in the only way I know how.
Keep rhythm steady, she sways.

I promised I wouldn't yet here I am.
Writing a song about something I don't know.
Oh my god, I'm losing it.
I'm not sure I had it to begin with, but I'm keeping it 'til I leave.
Cause it's you that makes me believe in me.
Track Name: Plans
Let's talk about this whole "being stable".
I'm pretty sure I skipped my prime, but we weren't built to last
and I've enjoyed my time.

So much for the plans we made,
and all the nights I couldn't take,
and the cold soft glow
that you'll never get to see.

Always feeling sorry for one thing or another, I fell into my good habits too late.
I took off wondering alone just to prove that I was "strong enough";
I just wanted to leave and stay relevant in your head.
All I had I lost by talking too much,
but I just laughed it off because it wasn't worth anything
to anyone except my ten year old self.
I guess I took it to heart when you said everybody else
forgot to say goodbye,
because they couldn't see me through the dark light
and I guess that I
didn't
waste my time.
Track Name: Getting By
I've grown tired and I can't be bothered with getting by.

So I'll drag my feet and lose my grip on everything I never cared for.
Purposely uncomfortable like orphans with a home,
I'll shatter something stable but it'll stay part of the
things I'll never tell you.